WHEN IS THE TIME TO MOVE ON FROM RELATIONSHIPS?
When to let go of a relationship?
When you live in your imagination about this relationship more than the present.
When the relationship brings you more pain than joy.
When they expect you to change.
When you stay on, expecting them to change.
When you keep justifying their actions to yourself.
When the same situation/issue recurs even though you tried addressing it.
When they put little to no effort in the relationship.
When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.
When the relationship holds you back, hence preventing you from growing as individuals.
When you stay on, expecting things to get better.
When neither of you feel the same way about each other.
You’ve tried everything to make it work! Or, you could have done more?
“If i just try harder”, “maybe they are just too scared”, “if i sacrifice once again they will eventually start valuing me”, “it is probably my fault anyway”, “I have to be the bigger person”, “I have no evidence that it will change but i just blindly believe that it will”, “they are the one and only”, “we have this very special connection that is hard to find”, “they are my soulmate, twin flame, soul tribe, karma, destiny”, “I will suffer my way out with them towards happiness”, “I can’t live without them”, “I see no future without them”, “I won’t be happy without them”, “they are my second half and I am not whole without them”, “one always loves harder than the other anyway”, “if i just forgive them one more time they will not repeat the same mistake”, “they just don’t understand but with my help they will”, “I have to fight for love”, “i have to see them in their best light, because that is who they truly are, even if their actions speak the opposite”, “if I just have enough of hope and faith I can make it work”, “I have to love unconditionally despite of how they treat me”, “I experience all this turbulence means it is true love”, “I had all these synchronicities, chakra openings, dreams, visions, telepathy means we are destined to be together”, “there is only one soulmate/twin flame for me out there”, “they are inconsistent so I have to set an example and be consistent”, “if i just keep offering them my love they will eventually reciprocate”, “I have to change for them”, “yes they use my insecurities against me, but it is my own fault”, “they have been hurt in the past, but my love will heal them”, “they make me question everything about myself but it is my problem because I have to be more secure in the first place”, “if they see me prioritizing them, they will start to prioritize me back”, “I am responsible for my reality, so I should take full responsibility for this relationship too”, “I have to keep sacrificing my time and energy because that’s what I know love to be”, “they don’t hear me so I have to choose words and the way I present information”, “I have to be better, stronger, more gentle, more happy, more attractive, more of this and more of that….”
If even 10% of what is listed above sound like you. The time to let go and move on came already yesterday.
THE TRUTH HURTS
Sometimes the truth is more than we can take. So, to make things easier, we continue to live in our false reality. Sometimes it feels much easier to believe in the future of the relationship than to admit to ourselves that this partner doesn’t treasure and value the relationship the same as we do. If you resonate with the list of beliefs above means that your self-esteem level reached the critical low level. Investing your whole being, your energy and all of your time into relationship makes another person feel like they own you. Not everyone handles power with grace, most people get drunk on power. If you give to someone the power over your happiness you can be sure that in most cases this power will be misused. And at the end you can still be a “good person” who fought till the end, but it wouldn’t matter because you willingly helped another person to deplete your energy. That is not being good to yourself.
“It is just so confusing, if things have just been clearer…”
It is confusing because your partner is probably giving you mixed signals and because you really want to believe in those signals that ‘proves’ their love for you.
hot and cold behaviors.
heartfelt promises that are not being kept.
push and pull.
ignoring you and lying about ignoring you.
playing games and manipulate.
gaslighting you and make you question your sanity.
“I want us, but I am not sure”
All of this signifies that a person is unsure about you. People do not choose those they are unsure about, would you? The truth is, you are too precious to wait around and sacrifice your life for someone who showed you they don’t want you. Actions speak louder than words! Words are easy and are given with ease and pleasure. You welcome them, you want to hear them. Words are temporary soothing your anxiety and ease your worries, words are sweet and words are NOT ENOUGH. Words are not intentions and words are not actions.
Words are not enough so and the LOVE sometimes is NOT ENOUGH either.
Love does not equal compatibility.
Just because you fall in love with someone doesn't necessarily mean they are a good partner for you to be with over the long term. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who is bad for us and our wellbeing. When looking for a partner, you must use not only your heart, but your mind. Yes, you want to find someone who makes your heart flutter, but you also need to evaluate a person’s values over time in a real-life situation. We live in times where people are so disconnected from themselves that they rush to find home in other people. That is the biggest mistake we make and that is how we pay the biggest price.
Friendship is a fundament for love.
We also live-in times when we are not only confusing real love with all sorts of other feelings and emotional turbulence, but we also forgot the meaning of what true friendship is. True friendship is not “vibing together” but trust, honesty and transparency, openness, having each other’s back, support and true care. Friendship is fundamental for a romantic relationship. If you can’t call your partner your true real friend, then that means the relationship have approached a dead end.
Love does not solve relationship problems.
Love only is not enough to solve relationship issues. This is how a toxic relationship works. The roller coaster of emotions is intoxicating, each high feeling is even more important and more valid than the one before. Unless there’s a stable and practical foundation beneath your feet, that rising tide of emotion will eventually come and wash it all away.
LOVE IS NOT WORTH SACRIFICING YOURSELF
When you are in love, it is essential that you love yourself too. At times, we tend to give our partner so much importance that we ignore our own needs to keep them happy. Does it work in the long run? Well, no. One day you will realize that you must have self-respect to keep yourself happy first. No matter how many sacrifices you end up making to keep your relationship together It will fall apart if the other person is not doing the same. You shouldn’t lose your own identity while you are in a relationship, no matter how much in love you are.
If your heart hurts after letting go of someone or something, that’s okay.
It just means that your feelings were genuine. No one likes endings. But sometimes we have to put things that were once good to an end after they turn toxic to our wellbeing. Not every wonderful beginning is meant to last forever. And not every person who walks into your life is meant to stay.
You can love a person and still let them go.
You can love a person and choose a different path for yourself.
You can love a person and not want them in your life.
You can love a person, but you have to LOVE YOURSELF first.